Sometimes our own self importance gets in the way of what we’re trying to achieve, whether that be meeting our objectives, providing the best support service for our members, or simply putting off dealing with those little problems that can turn into major issues. Our ego pops up everywhere to protect ourselves and yet, it may be the very thing that inhibits the growth of our organisations.
How often do you find yourself defending your point of view, even to the point where you’ve realised that what you’re saying is off the mark yet you don’t want to be seen to be wrong? When someone poses a new idea, do you bring up all the reasons why it won’t work? Have you heard people in your organisation justify following a procedure by saying “because that’s the way we do it around here”?
These are just some of the ways we allow our egos, or ourselves, to get in the way of getting the results we talk about. Why do we do this? The ego is our self image, based on how we would like to be seen by others. By living through our ego, we seek the approval of others, we are always searching for a response, we feel a need to control things and to have or gain power. Based on what we believe, if we feel that any of these things are being changed, altered, challenged or threatened then we will take action to protect our image. Your ego wants to control and it is sustained by power because it lives in fear. However, your ego is not who you really are. It is only how you want to be seen by others.
When your ego kicks in, this stops or diminishes:
*Communication – you stop listening and considering new information
*Collaboration – you become autocratic “Do as I say don’t do as I do”
*Objective outcomes – you take everything as a personal attack and become defensive and confrontational which makes the other person agitated and accelerates an argument
*Efficiency – you waste time and energy on non-productive discussions and activities
*Trust – you separate and distance yourself from others
What do you think you gain from being in your ego? What results are you getting from being in your ego? What results do you actually want?
I worked with an organisation that outwardly promoted itself as an employer of choice by supporting its staff through flexible working hours, great career opportunities and having a great culture. Within the organisation, the CEO was focused on creating a great culture –
organisational values had been established and were incorporated into the performance measurement framework. Staff enjoyed the approach that was being taken to create a fun and lively culture yet where it failed was with the senior managers of the organisation. They were so focused on building their own “empires” that they would not share information with other departments or undertake activities that would make them look good to the detriment of the organisation as a whole. While some made attempts to encourage a culture of growth, the end result of the growth was so they could meet budget and achieve their financial remuneration through bonuses. Therefore the culture of openness, sharing and growth that was trying to be developed at the highest levels in the organisation was undermined by the senior managers’ desires to fulfil their own needs.
So what can you do to stop your ego getting in the way of creating a great career for yourself and help build a successful organisation?
*When you notice you’ve become agitated or irritated by a comment or action, stop and listen.
*Step outside of your importance or opinion and become aware and open to what’s going on around you.
*Before you make any judgements or decisions, take into consideration the entire situation i.e. look at it from an outside-in perspective.
*Relate what is being discussed or decided to your outcomes – how will this help to achieve the organisation’s objectives as opposed to your objectives?
If you find this hard to do for yourself, recognise what bothers you through the actions of other people. Your response to someone else’s behaviour is a direct reflection of what you like or don’t like about yourself. If they irritate or annoy you, ask yourself “What about that behaviour aggravates me and do I do or say this to others?” You’ll very quickly identify behaviours that are based in your ego and inhibit your performance.
Your ego blocks you from the truth. It stops you from looking at things clearly and objectively and taking the most appropriate course of action. By removing your ego, your decision making process becomes easier and faster, a culture of trust and integrity is fostered and a clarity of direction and purpose is achieved, leading to personal and organisational success.
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